Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize