i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize