This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
