My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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