Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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