omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize