I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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