dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
you will always have a special place in my vag
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
