Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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