not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
