her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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