It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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