There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
