I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
be right there i have to get my cape
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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