I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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