So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Randomize
