I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
