how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
