let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
