i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
