I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
