I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
