You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
