K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
