Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
