it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
So. Much. Porn.
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