sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
so explain again why im purple
no
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
