i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
