i don't like sucking hair
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
