Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
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