he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
