all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I have aggressive nipples.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
