She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
