Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
