I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
