i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
