Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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