New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Randomize
