I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
