Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Randomize
