Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize