this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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