this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
