I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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