So drunk its hurt
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
