Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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