She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
