3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
