My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
