I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize