there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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