I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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