And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
