he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
