If i come over, it means nothing
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Randomize
