I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
