Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
