I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
