Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
