well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
