Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
It was confusing and full of hummus
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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