I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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