its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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