Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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