He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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