I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
