Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
