im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
