i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
