I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I can't turn off my feet"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
