You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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