I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize