you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Randomize
