It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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