I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
