just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
