Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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